It is a thrill to get into a new relationship. It will be challenging if your family or friends disapprove of your partner. Such a situation may give rise to self-doubt and inner turmoil if you value a partner and all the people who are close to you. You’ve got to find a balance between trusting your feelings and being open to the concerns about you of those closest to you.
The following article will explain in detail you can do to try and surmount this situation and opt for the best decision.
Understanding the Reasons for Disapproval
There could be numerous reasons your family or friends may not like your new partner. Sometimes, they compare your new relationship with the previous one when they liked the other person a lot. They could even go to the extreme of being overprotective of you to make sure you’re making better choices. Cultural or social differences between your partner and your family could be a source of discomfort, too.
First, approach your family or friends and ask them why they feel this way. The most important thing is to listen to such concerns without getting defensive. It could be due to their point of view, whether it is a personal preference or genuine concern about your relationship.
How to React to Criticism
It is okay to feel upset or even angry when people close to you criticize your partner. It is, however, important that calmness be restored and not taken personally. Rather than frustration, one should listen to what they have to say. In this way, it will turn what could have been a heated argument into a constructive dialogue.
Criticism many times is rooted in concern, so allowing them to know you are valuing their thoughts and opinions goes a long way, even when you are disagreeing with them. Acknowledge their concerns and appreciate them looking out for you. This will diffuse tension and make for a better conversation on the topics at hand-regarding your relationship.
Now, you have heard them out, you cool, explain to them why you love your partner, and how important the relationship is to you. This will make family and friends understand your point of view, see from your perspective.
Verifying Your New Partner
If your family and/or friends have deep concerns about the new partner’s intentions or background, this might be something to look further into, especially if you met your partner online or don’t know that much about them. Today, online websites exist where you can check information about a person to see whether he or she might be involved in dishonest activities, including romantic scams (check this site about dating scam checks).
This will put your mind at rest if your loved ones think that something is not quite right. It is not a matter of mistrust; it’s a form of protection going into a new relationship. A background check site can confirm whether your partner has told you the truth about his work history or place of education. If all checks out, this, too, will take the fears from your family and build stronger confidence in your relationship.
On the other hand, if discrepancies do show up through verification, it may be a reason to have an honest conversation with your partner. Trust is the basis of any relationship, and if good relations start on a sound footing, many ills can be avoided for later.
Deciding on Your Own Feelings
While one should always hear their family or friends out, you must remind yourself that you are the one in this relationship. After hearing them out, take the time to reflect on how you really feel toward your partner. Are the issues your loved ones have raised because of valid concerns, or do they tend more to differences in personality or lifestyle?
If their concerns are based upon personal preferences, then it might be easier to balance your relationship and respect their view. However, if those points have made you raise questions about the honesty or intentions of your partner, you might need to think a bit deeper about the future of your relationship.
Remember that it is quite OK to disagree with the family or friends. So long as you feel confident in your decision and you know you trust your partner, your family’s opinions will become important but not controlling.
Bridging the Gap Between Family and Your New Partner
Once you have decided to continue in a relationship, it is worth working on the improvement of relations between your partner and your family or friends. That doesn’t mean making them all like each other at once, but there are things that you can do to make things smoother.
Plan a meeting under very comfortable conditions where your partner and your family feel at ease with each other. This will grant your family and your loved one a great chance to get to know your partner better and vice versa. Sometimes, first impressions or incomplete information could lead to quick judgments, and spending time together could ease tensions.
Encourage open conversation, but keep it light. Controversial topics can be skirted, and often, there is common ground that may be found between two individuals. If your partner is trying to connect with your family or friends, it can go a long way in changing their perception.
Be patient. It may take time for your family to accept your new partner fully, but steady efforts and positive interactions can help improve their relationship over time.
What to Do If Conflict Persists
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your family or friends just won’t ever accept your new love. In all of those cases, you will have to consider carefully.
It may be time to reinvestigate your relationship if, in fact, their concerns are valid and set on the basis of some concrete argument. If not, if that is all stemming from a personal bias or resistance to change, then it would be appropriate to set boundaries with your loved ones.
Tell them you value their opinion, but you have decided on what you want, and you require their cooperation. Then you should tell them that you’d like them to respect your decisions, even if they disagreements.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is give it time. The more your relationship grows and the more positive the influence your partner has in your life, the more your family or friends may come around.
Conclusion
Though dealing with disapproving family or friends in a new relationship can be tough, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to destroy your relationship. In hearing them out, talking calmly through criticisms, and double-checking your partner’s intentions, you may be able to work your way toward a stronger foundation for both your relationship and any relationships that you have with your loved ones.
It’s also about trusting your feelings and making decisions that feel right for you. Balancing all that in a relationship and the approval of your family takes time. But with patience, understanding, and clear communication, the potential for harmony can exist in your life.
