Bringing a new baby home brings so much joy, but also many changes to the lives of new parents, including their sex life. During this time, couple intimacy and sexual satisfaction changes are common. Blame it on postpartum recovery, hormones, exhaustion and suddenly overwhelming new tome of responsibilities because these all add up to a significant reduction in desire or the ability to connect with each other sexually. Although face difficulties are par for the course, they can indeed prove troubling when allowed to escalate into a sore spot source of misery. Here is where therapy can be a critical component in supporting couples during this delicate time, giving them the practical skills to rebuild and increase intimacy.
Understanding the Changes in Your Sex Life After Birth
These are common sexual changes during postpartum and can be due to different reasons.
- Recovery: The birthing partner will also go through a physical recovery stage after the delivery. Many of the discomforts are from vaginal deliveries, as it could be just a sore and tear but in other causes more complex and therefore not allowing proper intercourse. Vaginal dryness, painful sex : Sex may become uncomfortable due to vaginal dryness caused by changes in hormones, especially lower estrogen levels. After a C-section birth, healing from the surgery can also postpone resuming sex for some couples. Remember that everybody heals differently and it is important to give your body time to recover.
- Hormonal Surges: Hormones govern much of postpartum sexual health. When estrogen levels drop, it can result in changes to libido and vaginal moisture, leading to a feeling of reduced sensitivity to sexual stimuli. Also, when the mother is breastfeeding another hormone called prolactin that promotes milk production can decrease sexual desire.
- Higher Maternal Emotional and Psychological Changes: The high maternal emotional rollercoaster caring for a newborn, parenting pressures mixed with changing body image may result in self-doubts or low self-esteem. For many new mothers, postpartum depression can exacerbate the lack of libido. They can help people or couples modulate these shifts in feelings emotionally and provide strategies to maintain closeness.
- Exhaustion and poor time management: New parents can be so tired from feedings every two hours or complete non-stop baby care situation that they forget to realize a sense of normalcy. Fatigue can kill libido and also reduces the time that one has for dating or romance. New parents becomes about finding your balance between baby and connection.
The Importance of Communication
Couples are advised to discuss any problems in their sex life following the arrival of a child. Sexual frustrations is not an easy thing to discuss, especially when there might be fear of hurting your partner. Therapy gives couples a safe, impartial venue to express their concerns, fears and desires without judgment.
While therapists experienced in marriage and couples counselling can help facilitate these discussions, most importantly both of your are hurt and you want to feel respected by the other. The idea is to create an environment with empathy, forgiveness and respect as you both journey back towards reconnecting sexually.
If you find yourself having a hard time talking about and expressing the impact of — postpartum on your partnership, it might be wise to enlist some help from a counselor to alleviate strain and invite dialogue. Seek professional counseling (like those provided by All In The Family Counselling) to get on the same page with each other and work towards re-kindling your sexual desire.
Restoring Intimacy with Therapy
Couples therapy can offer these tools to help bridge the gap between every type of intimacy for a couple after the birth of their child. Here are a few ways that counseling can compliment this transition:
Physical Concerns: A therapist can help reframe what is normal in terms of your body anatomy post child birth and how it can affect your sex life. They can also help you to try things like lubrication for vaginal dryness or new sexual positions that won’t hurt. For the physical questions and answers, they might send you to a pelvic floor specialist, or gynecologist for further help if the issues are more pronounced.
Develop Emotional Closeness: So, more often than not, physical intimacy and emotional closeness goes hand in hand. But, the stress of all that goes into having and taking care of a baby often leads to emotional disconnection between partners. Couples therapy can also allow couples to identify emotional needs, process feelings of resentment or frustration and help them build up ways to become emotionally close — for example by engaging in non-sexual types of affection, spending quality time together etc.
Rebuilding Confidence and Body Image: New mothers often feel self-conscious about their bodies after giving birth, which may make them want to have sex a lot less. Therapy also can help individuals rebuild their confidence and come to terms with how they view themselves in a postpartum body, making them more relax and sexy. You can also learn how to help your partner through this process, reassuring them and showing love.
Preventing Long-Term Sexual Disconnection
Sex life of a couple change after childbirth, here’s why is even more than that if such changes in sex life after having a baby are not communicated and worked upon then it may lead to permanent disconnection between the couples. As a result, this inconsistency leads to frustration and animosity that can eventually destroy the relationship. While therapy can provide solutions for what is holding us back in the present, it also gives us strategies to prevent relapse so that these issues do not crop up again. To learn how to do this in your relationship and more fodder for journaling about unhappy dynamics on paper, book a breakthrough couples counselling session.
Recreating the bond has to be a mutual effort, and it is important that both you and your partner are clear on what you have been going through. Instead of fluster, it i simportant to take all this change with a grain of salt and be more patient and accepting. Therapy provides a structured, safe place to delve into those questions and work together to find healthy solutions.
When to Seek Therapy
If it has been several months post-Baby and you and your partner just can not seem to get back in the groove of things, are feeling emotionally disconneced, then perhaps it is time to see a specialist. Therapy can help you get on top of potential deeper rooted issues, as well as rebuild that all-important physical and emotional connection.
We work with couples at All In The Family Counselling who are struggling postpartum to rediscover intimacy and show compassion in their relationship. If you and your partner are struggling with this, therapy may be a good way for the two of you to reconnect, develop a more solid bond, and eventually recover into an active sexual health after giving birth.
Conclusion
The postpartum period is a time of major transition- and sexual changes are part of the journey. Instead of letting these challenges drive you apart, therapy can be a bridge to help you cross this new territory with understanding and empathy for one another. By breaking down barriers, and reigniting intimacy and realistic elements of expectations, therapy allows couples to confidently re-open the sexual Olympics chapter in this inspiring era.
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